kings and boyfriends

greetings! i hope all is well on your side of the page. (if it isn't, well..hang in there. trust God.)
it's funny how certain seasons in life can strike you hard and make you forget the things that matter most to you. where am i getting with this you ask? well..that's for you to find out as you continue reading this article. haha. so don't skim this one through.

so the other day i was out with a bunch of my pals. we were heading off for dinner after a long day of practice. (well..it was long for me =p). and as we were sitting at the table i realized something- all of my friends were 'paired up' (if you know what i mean) except me. well. it was no surprise to me at all. i mean, i didn't mind being the only one without a physical 'partner'. i didn't mind hanging with those who did either despite the fact that i was left out most the time. it didn't bother me at all. at first.

previously, i thought to myself, "it's all good. God has something awesome planned out for me. i just know it! i don't have to rush into something just because everyone's doing it." i thought i was gonna be fine. i thought that the LAST thing that would actually make me feel insecure about myself is not being with someone or having someone by my side to do life with.

but just the other day i foolishly deprived myself of some well-needed time with God. in other words, i missed to do my daily devotion. and it shocks me on how missing just one day with God makes me VULNERABLE to the core. that just proves how important He really is to me.

with vulnerability comes weakness. and this was when things got very interesting.
 
so back to the whole 'forever-alone-dinner-situation'. i mean..i wasn't craving for attention or anything. i knew very well this was what i had to face whenever my friends bring their 'plus-ones' along. i didn't mind.  even when their partners were not there in the flesh they would be busy (and when i say 'busy' i mean 'completely-lost-in-their-own-world' busy.) communicating with them through facebook or whatsapp or whatever means of advanced texting there is out there. and being the only one without a smartphone to keep myself occupied made the situation just that much awkward for me. gosh. call me shallow but it was awful being neglected by the company you're with. and that my friends was the vulnerability talking. haha. i was going through a lot at that time as well. in the end, i gave in to weakness and indirectly doubted God's sole place in my life as the true lover of my soul. i kept thinking to myself how awesome it would be to have a darn boyfriend so that i won't be the only one starring at the food on the table and complementing on how good it is during dinner.

remember what i talked about in my previous articles? on how there can be no substitutes when it comes to God? i guess the key issue i was really bothered with was not being 'loved' in the flesh by someone. you see folks, i was foolish enough to default to the need for the temporary attention of a man instead of resting on the eternal, everlasting, unfailing love of God; thinking that if had someone by my side, i'll feel better about myself. and boy i was wrong.. i. kid. you. not.

then it hit me. i was reading the book of 1 Samuel in the Bible the other day and one of the chapters in it tells of how Israel wanted a king to reign over them. you see, they wanted a king to reign over them not because they really needed one but because they wanted what the other neighbouring nations had. they thought "hey, if we had a king we would certainly own people in battles and stuff". they forgotten that it was God whom (in His unfailing love and faithfulness) delivered them from all their previous enemies and gave them victory after victory.


Don't get me wrong. having a physical partner to do life with is one of the greatest blessings one can ever receive in their lifetime on earth. God gave us marriage as a beautiful reflectance of our relationship with Him after all. But it all boils down to what your real intention is to have a mate in the first place. Is it for the sake of God-centered companionship? or just like the Israelites, for the sake of conformity? 

you see, all they ever needed was God. But instead, they wanted a king to reign over them as a physical evidence of leadership that they can refer to. This brings me to another segment of this article-  to truly rely on God's love takes faith. There are people out there who are not convinced of God's love towards humanity because they expect present physical evidence of it. well guess what, there WAS physical evidence and it came in the form of Jesus Christ. As His children, we must take God at His Word and be fully convinced of the fact that: 

1. He loves us (Eph. 2:4-5)
2. He is for us/on our side (Rom. 8:31)
3. He will never leave us nor forsake us despite our shortcomings (Deut. 31:6)
4. He is all that we need (2Cor. 12:9)

We can never truly experience nor enjoy the love of God without first believing that He loves us. am i making sense?


with love that comes from God,
Theresa

Blessings in the form of the body

hey guys! how's it going? hope all is well with you guys. i know i said it like a million times but it has been insanely long since i blogged about something or written an article on my journey with God. To be brutally honest, there were SO MANY things i wanted to write about and i believe it was God's way of speaking to me too.

Anyway, it's my second semester here in Kampar (if you've read my previous article, "entering unknown terrain", i've referred it as the "land up north". hehe. moving on.) and i must say it has been an incredible journey *hearts*. God has indeed blessed me a great deal lately and one of best blessings i've had when i first got here were incredible friends. You see, God surrounded me with very extraordinary people. Why extraordinary you ask? these are the kind of people you would know are completely sold out for God and whose lives are devoted to loving others and doing His Will. They may be young, but they know first hand that God has set them apart for things greater than themselves.

1 Timothy 4:12 says, "do not let anyone look down on you just because you are young but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity."

A wise person once said that a man is defined by the company that surrounds him. Now for me, that is true to a certain extent. Because i've experienced first hand how these wonderful men and women of God encouraged me and inspired to pursue a deeper love for Him. You can have all the theology in the world within you but if that knowledge is not accompanied with an earnest, sincere and desperate desire for Jesus then you know you need to get fixed.

Glory to God for designing this entire body in such a way that every part does not contradict one another but compliments one another. Now, for many of you who don't exactly know what this statement means, God has made you and i to support and enhance one other in Him. I use to think i was fine on my own and that i didn't need people for support because God was all that i needed. But God proved me wrong by showing me that depending on your spiritual family is NOT a sign of weakness in anyway. Don't get me wrong, the bible still tells us that our hope should rest on nothing less other than God Himself.

Depending on someone doesn't necessarily mean that your complete hope is in them. People often mistaken the whole concept of "not putting your hope on men but on God" as sign that they should run a one man show. As for me, what it really meant was that we must fully rely on God for all things; including spiritual support. God's form of Spiritual support comes from the empowerment of the Holy Spirit. Think about it, God can provide us with support anyway He chooses. Be it through a personal touch or encounter with Him but i believe that He is capable of using other people as well. A perfect example is to have other people lay their hands on you to pray for you. God said after all that His body is the church and that He has made the Church so that the gates of hell will not prevail.

sincerely yours in the Lord,
Theresa

loosing your identity. permenantly.

hola friends! how long has it been? sorry i haven't written in a while. there were quite a few things the Lord has been speaking to me on lately and i've intended to publish most of them. again, it's bad practice to not note something important down assuming you've got it all in your head.(unless you're that mad genius for the tv show; "suits"). it's even worse to not note down stuff God tells you. i mean think about it. imagine if those guys God chose to write the bible did the same thing. we would all be screwed. (then again, if they would have done that God wouldn't have chosen them all wouldn't He? haha.) i realize that i've been allowing myself to be negligent lately especially in areas of my life where i shouldn't be. but. this is not what i'll be blogging about tonight. whoops. i just made you read for a few seconds. oh well, food for thought..

so the other day, i had supper with a couple of  my friends. awesome food, awesome people. what a night. anyway, i had a chance to hear this friend of mine out on how she struggles with her 'old habits'. and when i say 'old habits' i don't mean those harmless ones like nail-biting or plucking out your baby hair. i'm referring to the stuff you normally do. stuff like getting mad at your mom for no apparent reason or harboring deep hatred towards someone for their lack of understanding. stuff the bible refers to as our actions when we once lived in ignorance. yup. i'm talking about those ungodly tendencies we all struggle with even after knowing Christ as our Lord and Savior. don't get me wrong. i'm definitely NOT saying it's alright to go back to your old way of living and default to those tendencies and urges. the bible tell us of how we are a new creation in Him. that means we are no longer the people we used to be when we did not know Jesus and lived in sin. the whole point of what Jesus did and had to go through was to make you clean and presentable before God. it was to cover you with the righteousness of Christ so that we may come back to God once more and enjoy a deep, everlasting and intimate relationship with Him. it was to make us pure and free from the things that kept us in bondage before.

so back to this friend of mine. she told me about her old habits and how hard it was to change from her previous self. and a part of me tells me that she's not sure how. so i tried telling her the only way i know how-by referring to the Word. in the bible, God tells us how should put on Christ as our new self-image. that means putting off our old-selves and making Christ our new, permanent identity. (our 'old-selves' includes our old practices and desires). by putting on Christ, we must act and live the way Christ did. and i'm not talking about the physical stuff like wearing a robe or anything like that. i'm talking about the spiritual examples Christ set for us when He lived on this earth. i'm talking about knowing who you are in God and living out His will to the fullest. apparently that's what Jesus did. even if it meant suffering to the point of death.  

i have my fair share of struggles when it comes to nipping my old habits in the butt. i know that i'm not righteous or perfect because if i am, i would be one with God by now. but i'm still here am i? =). the other day at church, this speaker shared on how the greatest goal God has for you in life is not to make you rich or have a successful, blooming career. no. His greatest goal for you was to make you like His Son, Jesus who is perfectly holy and righteous. and this means taking life-changing journey. let me be the millionth Christian to say that it hasn't been easy. at the same time, let me be one from the very few to tell you that it's worth it. don't worry about the habits you struggle with. we have a faithful high priest (Jesus) who has been through every point of trail and temptation as we did and more. so don't tell yourself that Jesus doesn't understand your pain or how hard it is as a human being. know by heart that we have a God who is bigger than our struggles and is more than able to aid us in our time of need. so let us not hesitate to approach the throne of grace and seek help. =)

entering unknown terrain

heyy guys and gals. it's been a while. indeed it has been. in the past few days, God has been graciously revealing to me many things. so many that i don't know where to start. haha. urm. but i guess i'll start with the most epic one. i've been praying and asking God to unveil what His will is for my education. you see, i'm at the point where i've reached one of those crossroads in life. and personally to me, this isn't one of those junctions where if you make a wrong turn, you can always find a u-turn sooner or later down the road and find your way back to the same junction so that you make the right turn. no. this junction was different. it was one of those crappy ones that if you make a wrong turn, you won't have the privilege of a second chance. it was one of those decisions that can't be made without God. i mean, being in a relationship with Him means doing life with Him after all.
i'm sure life is gonna be filled with those crossroads. some may seem less epic than the other but all of them are in every way significant.

anyway, back to the whole education thing. i thank God for finally revealing to me where He wants me to be. and i thank God for making it so clear to me through  a series of difficult, crappy, unexpected, crappy, adverse, crappy circumstances. you see, God decided to send me off to a distant, strange land known as Kampar. have you heard of it? it's wayy up north. i have to be honest with you, i was in every possible way apprehensive about the whole thing. i mean. it was really overwhelming to know that God wants to remove you from the picture and place you in another. i was not totally down with the fact that i had to let go of everything (and when i say everything, i mean everyone) i once held dear. BUT. (haha.i went on an all-caps rage on the word 'but' to get your attention just in case you were falling asleep). Jesus did made it clear to all of us as believers that if we wish to follow Him, we must deny ourselves and take up the cross daily. basically He made it clear that doing life with God won't be easy  and it requires sacrifice. and in my case it's really minor because all God was doing was letting me know that this is what He wants. God spoke through my darling cell leader the other day. and apparently the place i thought was 'home' was God's training ground.

Jeremiah 33:3 states "call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know".
well, apparently i've been keeping the whole 'Your-will-above-my-education' thing in prayer. and ironically, when God gave me a clear picture of it all i was like, "Oh Lord, what is this???" *inward laughter*so funny how we ask God for His will to be done in our lives and when He does it, we back down. 

we ought to be grateful for the plans He have for us. and sometimes, His will may be hard to swallow but i encourage you, as one who tasted His unfailing goodness, to be of good cheer and take courage. He raised both you and i up for such a time as this. and when it's time, take hold of His will. the biggest regret would be to miss out. take ownership of His promises. greater things are yet to come. if things do look as if they are falling apart, ask God for His grace and strength to look beyond our present circumstances.His grace and strength is new everyday after all =) *more to come*

Seasons. and i don't mean the drink label.

hey there! hope you guys got a good night's sleep. apparently i didn't. and what better way to counter insomnia than communing with the Lord. (well..i'm not sure if i had insomnia. i blame my irregular sleeping patterns).

a friend of mine from youth had to return to the States permanently and his flight was on the following day. so a bunch of us threw him a farewell dinner. it was fun. i talked to this friend of mine about covering a song and he suggested what i thought was a wonderful piece. he said that it was about the song writer being at the lowest point of his/her life. (i can't recall the gender of the artist by the way). it was based on the book of Ecclesiastes that tells us of how there is a time for everything. a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance. (Ecc 3:4).

when i got home and jumped into bed, i spent the first God-knows-how-many-hours tossing and turning. you see, i didn't know this friend of mine long but he has been around long enough to earn a place in my heart together with all my other close friends that i would not be keen on loosing any time soon. you get the point. so i asked God: "why give me a friend when you are going to take him/her away?". call me anti-social but i've always been apprehensive to get close with people i know aren't gonna be around for long. so i often clam up and withdraw myself. anyway, back to God. haha. when i was softly conversing away with God, He (i mean God) reminded me of that song my friend was talking about. the one based on the book of Ecclesisates. God reminded me that He has made everything beautiful in it's time and there is a season for everything that happens under heaven. despite the fact that i may not comprehend what He has installed for me at that particular point of time, i can be assured of the fact that He is faithful and will cause everything to happen for the good of His people. i guess God has a special purpose for everyone. His definition of good may not be in line with what we have in mind, but as His children, we ought to trust in Him and aline our thoughts with His plans and promises instead. so help us o Lord, to rest in You and know that You are good. strengthen us that we may set our eyes upon You in all things. Your goodness is the greatest there ever is and i trust that, Lord. You have a season for everything to happen under heaven. but there are things that remain out of season Lord and that is your love and right to be praised.    


Ecclesiastes 3:11 "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end."

say no to substitutes

hey guys! it's been a while and i think it's a great time to start blogging again. the first month of 2012 has indeed been memorable. i believe God has His own way of teaching me stuff. sometimes in an endearing manner and sometimes in a not so endearing manner. i call that discipline! (awesome)

for the past few days, God has been doing a great job of getting my attention towards the things i wasn't doing right. like the way i've been trying to 'substitute' Him. i didn't realize what i was doing wrong until i experienced a complete emotional downfall a few days ago. i guess it was God's way of telling me i'm not where i should be and that i wasn't doing what i was suppose to.

i believe God made us to not only worship Him but to enjoy Him as well. and when i say 'enjoy' i don't mean like how you would enjoy a meatball sub or a rousing game of team fortress where the joy's only for the moment. enjoying God means enjoying His presence in our daily lives. you can only truly enjoy God when you acknowledge Him and reside in Him in everything you do. but that's not what i'm gonna be blogging about today. oh well, food for thought.


Psalm 127:1 says "unless the Lord builds the house, it's builders labor in vain. unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain". this amazing piece of scripture reminds me of a very important principle in one's life- if it ain't God, it's in vain. 1 Corinthians 3:11 tells us of how no other foundation can be laid other than Christ Himself. in my previous article i talked about how God made us in such a way that we are destined to be one with Him. and until we achieve that, we will not have true wholeness. it makes a lot of sense because we can't establish our lives on any other besides God. and when i quote 'establish our lives on God', i meant making Him your joy, strength, delight, confidence and firm foundation. and apparently that is exactly what i've got wrong. (uhh..) i've been guilty of trying to substitute God instead letting Him take His rightful place as my one and only center. and all this happened without me realizing it! the right thing to do is to reside in Him and establish yourself on Him. let me make you a list of things i've been doing wrong just in case you're already getting tired of reading. (bear with me)


-instead of making God my confidence, i've somewhat made music my confidence thinking the better i get the more confident i deserve to feel about myself.
-instead of seeking self-worth in God i sought the approval of people around me. i was so concerned about how people would perceive me instead letting God's word define me for who i really am-fearfully and wonderfully made in the image and glory of the most high God.
-instead of residing in God's love, i sought the love and attention of other people that i let overtake God. i've loved other things when i should be loving God. His love should have been all that mattered to me. ( i mean think about it, God's love is unchanging and is not affected by circumstances unlike the love of man)
-i thrived on pride instead of giving God honor. (you see, when i was serving in the worship team the other day, i was so concerned about the way i looked and sang instead of focusing on what really matters-presenting myself first and foremost as a servant of God and worshiping Him with all i've got because He deserves it.)

and the list goes on....but you get my point. =). this too reminds me of a portion of scripture in the book of Ecclesiastes. you see, that book was written by solomon himself. he had all the luxuries in the world as king and tried seeking joy and wholeness in them. in the end, he came to a conclusion that all of it was meaningless.

my conclusion is, don't let anything or anyone rob you the right of establishing yourself on Christ; making Him all that sustains you. He is after all your rightful, firm foundation. if a marriage is not established on Christ, it's established on something broken. it's the same for all of us. married or not. God gave us marriage as an illustration of our relationship with Him. think about it. if you were a husband who gave everything for your wife, you wouldn't want your wife residing and seeking joy in other men. 

Promises. How and When?

wow! 2012 already? awesome! that means i'm gonna have to add another year to my age. miserable. yet. epic.
there's no way of telling what the new year holds for all of us. that's why i find it a whole lot more easier just to trust God rather than to worry my butt off about something that's not meant to be in my control in the first place. haha!
but one thing we can be sure of  is that a new year would mean new challenges ahead. some epic. some not so epic. but all in every way significant. i've been thinking about this for some time now so i made an equation that helps put everything together.


New Challenges = New God-willed lessons to be learned
 
New God-willed lessons = Better man / woman of God

but what i'm gonna be bloggin' about is something a whole lot different (i hope it relates one way or another)

getting to know God has been awesome all the way and yet somehow, i'm still far from close to all He truly is. thus, the awesome journey continues. anyway, at one point of my life (probably before physical adulthood), i came to know God as Someone Who is undivided when it comes to His Word. what i'm trying to say is that God is completely faithful in everything He says. what He says He will do. really does make sense since it's impossible for Him to lie and stuff. the bible tells us of how every word that goes forth from His mouth will NOT return to Him void but will accomplish the things it was sent out to do in the first place. awesome right? that means every promise is a sure 'yes' and not an 'urm...maybe..we'll see how things are'.

but how and when is a different story.

so the other day at church an amazing woman of God testified on how He (when i say 'He' i mean God) progressively brought His promise over her life to pass. it was amazing to see how God fulfilled His promise. but it was what she said next that rocked my world (emphasis added). it was one of those moments in life when God uses the testimonies of others to get you back up on your feet and back on track. so this wonderful person (the lady i mean) said that it's not just about believing that God will do it but it's about partnering with Him every step of the way. it's not about just laying back and expecting God to bring everything on a silver platter to your doorstep but it's about taking the required steps and making the necessary sacrifices along the way. sometimes, the best of promises come with the most painful of sacrifices. 

the awesome testimony was followed by an awesome sermon by pastor and it was called 'from barrenness to fruitfulness'. when i first heard the title i was like, "hey..this could be of good use to me since i feel pretty barren at the moment". you see..i was at that place again where i kinda lost sight of God's will over my life and i was living for my desires instead of His. i was constantly being a pain by simply ignoring His presence and not letting Him be who He wants to be in my life. ahhh. you get the point.

so i was one of those people who were just sitting back and not doing anything i was suppose to. forgetting that there IS a great promise that has been made over my life. practically i was going through a period of barrenness.

there were many characters in the bible who went through a period of barrenness.
one of them included Abraham. God promised Abraham that he will be a father of many nations.
like i said, a promise is a promise but how and when it's gonna be fulfilled is a different story. 
So Sarah (Abraham's wife) happened to be barren. and i guess she got tired of waiting so she asked Abraham to go lay with her maid Hagar instead and have a child by her.

i guess we all have a little bit Sarah in ourselves. the moment we don't see God's promise come to pass in our self-appointed time, we panic and begin to do stuff our way out of God's will. 

God works in His own timing and His own timing alone. 2Peter 3:8 states that with the Lord a day is like a thousand years and a thousand years are like a day. i had to learn this the hard way. haha.
in our period of barrenness we must not lose sight of what God has promised and CONTINUE to commit ourselves to our faithful Creator and nevertheless CONTINUE to do good. just like Hannah. despite being barren and all she continued to seek God and pray.


we tend to reason with God despite knowing at the back of our minds somewhere that God will always turn out right in the end. let's face it, reasoning leads to doubt. so it's up to us to set aside our worldly mindsets in order to make way for complete and undivided trust in His love. i guess the reason why some of the israelites didn't get to set foot on the promise land was because they constantly challenged God with their complaints again and again and refused to acknowledge the fact that it was God who preserved them and brought them that far in the first place. don't let your barren thoughts get the better of you and hinder you from experiencing God's version of fruitfulness in your life (and trust me, His version is always the best there is).  
.